December 28, 2002
The ceremony
The ceremony had the right combination of seriousness, family, and fun. The highlights were Victoria's singing and Chuck's reading.
Here is the text of Chuck's reading::
For the marriage of Cheri and Barry Parr
Hotel Majestic San Francisco California
December 28th 2003.
By Charles McKeithan
I have been asked to come up and say a few words about the marriage of Cheri and Barry. It is without question, an honor that I have looked forward to for sometime.
My sister and I have spanned the boundaries of family relationships from love to hate and back again. At last though, I find myself in a position of both loving my sister and being able to attend this blessed event.
In trying to think of what to say, and how to say it, I kept finding myself drawn to an image of what people want out of a marriage. Of what I hoped for when I watched my bride to be walk down the aisle.
The fire burns low in the hearth and casts shadows on the wall that compete with the shadows from a laptop screensaver as last minute preparations are made for tomorrows report. The occasional clink of dishes chimes in from the kitchen and the sound of footsteps thunking down the hall draw attention to the clock to see how late past bedtime someone has managed to stay up. These are not traditional images nor do they seem more than common place everyday occurrences. Yet the picture taken in as a whole presents the grand sum of what every young couple-to-be prays will one day be theirs. There is a peace in this house that makes it a home. You step inside and know that discord is not the order of the day. This is the home of a family founded in love and friendship
It seems ironic though to be asked to attend a wedding that, in my opinion has already happened. We all arrived here at the appointed place and time but we have in fact missed the wedding. Because true weddings do not take place in grand ballrooms or churches, though God did not miss the wedding, as He never misses anything. True weddings rarely have many people in attendance, nor do they require a relative standing to speak for what is likely to seem like forever before I’m finished.
A wedding is not the chosen hall no matter how hallowed though its beauty represents the beauty of the union taking place.
It is not the minister, though his blessing of the union reminds us of the importance of faith and the sacred purpose of vows before God.
It is not the rings, who’s never ending circle is ever present from this day on to remind us in our darkest hour that forever there will be someone waiting for us at the end of the day.
This day, and this event are for the rest of us to share in the celebration of that union. It is for the father of the bride, who will never stop being proud of his daughter It is for the mother of the groom, who before the day is ended, will likely shed a tear of joy and of farewell. It is for the children, who can never have enough love, enough attention, enough guidance, and who knew before anyone else the importance of this day.
So let me create for you what I imagine the real wedding of Cheri and Barry to have looked like. The beautiful wedding dress is replaced by jeans and a second hand blouse, the tuxedo is on a shelf somewhere while the groom sits across from the bride wearing a pair of slacks and a sweater. The weather is nice as they drink coffee and take an occasional bite from the fare before them. And at some point in the conversation about how his day was and where she is going next week. A moment passes between them when they cross over from being close friends of many years to being newly weds. They themselves may even have missed it. Or perhaps they saw the spark as it lit one in each others eye. Though the conversation never turned to notice the subtle and irreversible change that had taken place, the marriage had been set in stone. It only awaited the details of proposals, flowers, times and dates. Cheri and Barry have been married for some time now. They have that sort of marriage that one can only imagine ending in happily ever after, and that is the envy of every couple who waited to get married on the day of their wedding.
I welcome this opportunity to participate in the celebration of a now official, lasting union that I have watched blossom and grow and hope to always be able to stand in the wings and watch and learn from.
I love and thank you both.
Posted by: Barry Parr on January 26, 2003 10:41 AM